Discovering that someone you love is struggling with a substance use disorder can be a very emotional experience. You might feel angry with your loved one or with the person who introduced them to drugs. You might feel a sense of panic because you are worried that your loved one might have permanently damaged their body, mind, or spirit. You might feel an overwhelming sadness. You might even feel guilty and blame yourself for not seeing the signs earlier or preventing the drug use in the first place. 

All of those emotions are natural, but they can also get in the way of your most important task in this situation: convincing your loved one to get help for their substance use disorder. 

Convincing someone to enter a residential treatment program for detox and rehab can be challenging and emotionally exhausting. So part of your strategy should include caring for yourself during this extremely stressful time. 

Do Not Feel Guilty – Self Care is Never Selfish

Supporting another person is only possible if you are taking good care of yourself. Here are some important things to keep in mind:

• Protect your physical health by eating right, maintaining your exercise routine, and getting enough sleep.
• Protect your mental health by doing things you enjoy, spending time with friends and family, and carving out some alone time when you need it.
• Remember that you are not responsible for your loved one’s substance use disorder (even if they try to lay the blame at your feet).
• Go to therapy or find a support group where you can express your emotions and talk through the challenges of loving someone who is abusing drugs or alcohol.
• Feel good about setting limits—like not allowing drugs or alcohol in your home—even if they frustrate or anger your loved one. 

Establishing a firm foundation for your own wellness puts you in a strong position to help your loved one. That help could take any of a number of forms—and might have different degrees of difficulty.

Easy: Help Your Loved One Find the Right Facility

If your loved one is open to the idea of getting treatment, you could help them find the right recovery center for them. There are plenty of things to consider, including:

• Choose a recovery center that is accredited by an organization like the Joint Commission so that you can be sure that their approach to treatment is evidence-based and grounded in best practices.
• Find a recovery center that is committed to a continuum of care—which means offering support and resources after a person leaves treatment and is starting their recovery journey.
• Consider other factors to find a good fit, including treatment philosophy (for example, are holistic approaches to treatment available?), ability to address co-occurring mental health conditions like anxiety or depression, and more.

Medium: Help Your Loved One with Payment Plans, Childcare, and More

A person in the grips of a substance use disorder is probably struggling mightily to hold their life together. Even if they are willing (or even eager) to enter treatment, they may not have the wherewithal to address the important details. Here are some things they may need help with:

• Figuring out what their insurance will cover—or how to pay for treatment if they don’t have insurance.
• Advice about childcare options for the time they are in treatment—up to and including asking you to help personally. You will have to decide for yourself how comfortable you are with that if other options are difficult to come by.
• Letting other people know they are in treatment. It isn’t always easy to talk about addiction and treatment, so your loved one may rely on you to share the news with others to build a network of support they can count on as their recovery gets underway.

Hard: Arrange and Participate in an Intervention

It would be wonderful if everyone who has a substance use disorder was eager to seek treatment. But many people are quite resistant, so you may need to arrange an intervention. The actual process of doing so is not that difficult. We’ve marked it “hard” because an intervention can be confrontational and emotionally draining. In the end, however, it may be absolutely necessary if your loved one is to get the help they need. Key steps include:

• Find a qualified interventionist who can help ensure your loved one is treated with respect during the challenging conversation that must be had.
• Find the friends and family who possess the right combination of poise and compassion needed to gently but firmly confront your loved one.
• Set a time and place so that you are committed to helping your loved one in this difficult but necessary way.

Here to Help You Help Your Loved One

We know that helping a loved one with a substance use disorder can be challenging. At Sobriety Centers of New Hampshire, we offer compassionate, evidence-based care that is personalized for each individual. If you have questions—or if your loved one is ready to put substance use behind them—we hope you will give us a call. We are ready to help you help your loved one get their life back.